End of Life Doula, You Say?
Modern medicine -- and how well and often it cures and fixes us -- can lead us to sometimes think that we might just live forever.
Through life’s later stages, we spend more time with doctors and in emergency departments. A consequence of medical interventions is that more of us are living longer with life-limiting illness and infirmity. Often the end sneaks up on us.
Dying isn’t a medical event. It's a human experience.
End-of-life educator and author Barbara Karnes says, “Dying isn’t a medical event. It's a human experience.”
This mindset shift, along with volunteering for hospice and caring for my parents later in life, inspired me to seek professional training as a death doula. This new, emerging practice -- also known as end-of-life doulas or end-of-life planners -- is a response to the desire for more compassionate, personalized end-of-life care.
For much of the last century, dying and death took place out of sight, in hospitals and care facilities. Consequently, recent generations have little to no first-hand experience with aging, illness, and death. This is where death doulas can help fill some critical gaps throughout stages of aging, illness, and planning for end-of-life.
Your life and death, your way
Dying -- and planning for it even when you are young and vital -- isn’t just about the biological and clinical aspects. Death doulas provide holistic care to address the emotional, spiritual, and practical needs of both the person dying and their loved ones.
End-of-life doulas create a safe space to discuss fears, resolve unfinished business, and explore wishes for a peaceful death with dignity and meaning that is unique to each client. They support individuals and families by offering practical advice and effort to ease the burden during a challenging time.
Model of Practice
Services and support provided by death doulas vary greatly but these principles guide the profession:
Non-medical support. End-of-life doulas do not give medical advice nor perform clinical tasks such as giving medications or wound care.
Non-judgmental support.The Doula seeks to understand each client's goals and values and does not impose their own on the situation.
Family centered approach. The client and their client’s friends and important relationships are the focus of support. The doula complements and collaborates with partners, and care providers and does not replace them.
Holistic care. The Doula recognizes all aspects of a person, the biological, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of their life. Within this understanding and context, a doula offers information, ideas, and referrals for a client to tap into complementary or alternative approaches beyond the medical model .
Empowerment. Doulas promote informed decision-making and foster maximum self determination for each client and their loved ones.
Team Approach. Doulas are collaborators. They can help provide continuity in working with each client and other professionals -- e.g. healthcare, legal, accounting, et al -- to meet client goals.
Doulas are everywhere.
To learn more about end-of-life doulas and locate one in your region, visit the
National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) https://www.nedalliance.org/
Willow Baum writes creative non-fiction and is a consultant to family caregivers and an end-of-life planner at FriendForTheEnd.com.
